There are many misconceptions and some are more prominent in one age group than in another. The biggest misconception I encounter concerning being single at my age (twenty-one, senior in college) is twofold.
First, people believe that you want out of the single life and you want out now so of course you want to be set up with strangers! And with that, people often think you're not trying hard enough.
I admit (as I already have several times;) there are days when the last thing I want is to remain single. It absolutely stinks and I hate it and I just want a guy to look at me twice without wondering what grotesque creature they have laid eye upon (or alternatively, without thinking of me as one of the guys. I enjoy this usually, but it's not always a positive thing).
But most of the time, when I am thinking clearly and focused on living for God's glory and not my own, I am perfectly fine with my current situation. I don't need to be set up with anyone, sent on a blind date, or slipped into a surprise date/double-date. I love my dating friends dearly and know they are well-intentioned when they try to set me up. And I have heard of many set-up stories working out beautifully. But for me, set-ups are super awkward and I feel too pressured whenever they happen. Can I just meet guys like a normal human and be friends with them and wait for one to fall madly in love with me? Great, thanks, glad we had this talk. ;)
Right along with the first misconception, one I hear sometimes (also from well-intentioned people I love dearly) is, "maybe you're not trying hard enough." I get it. There is much merit in making sure you look your best every day. I do not want to discredit that at all. And 95% of the time, I am making an effort to look my best (doesn't always work the way I want it to, but hey, that's life).
Unfortunately, whether it is intended to be this way or not, telling a single person they're "not trying hard enough" can make finding a relationship look as simple as looking good. And if you're not gifted with natural beauty or the ability to put together smashing outfits/makeup, you're in trouble.
Once again, I fully understand the importance of looking your best. Dressing appropriately for your body and the occasion, finding hairstyles and makeup (if you wear it) that complement you, and walking with confidence all contribute to how people perceive you. First impressions are important. But they are not everything. I would much rather date a guy who hasn't figured out that navy doesn't go with black on any planet whatsoever but has a beautiful heart for the Lord and His work than date a guy who is the hottest commodity on campus (in looks and style) but doesn't care about his spiritual life.
I want to go for life over looks any time of day. It is my hope for anyone (guy or girl) reading this to think this way. Physical beauty is very, very fleeting.
No comments:
Post a Comment