Saturday, October 25, 2014

How long to make a habit?

I would like to turn this blog into something that I write on more frequently. I have missed writing regularly. They say it takes anywhere from twenty to thirty days to make something into a habit. A Google search brings up a variety of answers to exactly how long it truly takes to make a habit. But for the sake of this post, I'll say 20-30 days. :)

A friend from my society at BJU (ΘΑΧ - Owls, hoot baby!!) is currently in the midst of a thirty-day blogging challenge. The questions are pretty interesting and I've enjoyed reading her answers (if you'd like to read her answers, hop on over to her blog Not Your Average Coffee Bean and check em out!).

I looked up the blog challenge she is doing and read through the full list of questions. You can read them at Mandy Hale's blog (aka The Single Woman). Thankfully, they're not all about being single. ;) That being said, I have decided to join in on the challenge and invite my readers/fellow bloggers to do the same. If you join me in this endeavor, leave a link to your blog in the comments so I can follow your journey too! (And maybe even share your blog one day:)

So here goes Day One....

Your response to everyone’s favorite question: “And why are YOU still single?” 

Although it has been quite some time since anyone has expressed romantic interest in me, I view my singleness as a choice. Partially because if anyone did express interest at this point, I am more likely to turn them down than consider a relationship. 

As a senior in undergrad, most people I talk to think that I would want a relationship like, yesterday. Actually, my life is quite the opposite. As a senior undergrad facing at least four years of grad school (two more degrees) and possibly even more education after that, a relationship could be an extremely selfish move. I don't think it would not be fair to make a guy follow me wherever my education endeavors take me and/or wait for me to finish my education. 

Another aspect I need to consider is my life's calling. I recently made a public commitment to full-time Christian service in foreign missions. God has been working overhaul in my heart about this over the past year. I had made a private commitment, but my reason for the privacy was extraordinarily selfish and yet another evidence of the cynicalness I struggle with. In the back of my mind, since it was between me and God, it was as if I could still change my mind. Making the public commitment was a ginormous leap of faith for me. It means no turning back, no changing my mind. I will be serving my Savior through full-time mission work. No matter where He leads me, I will follow at full speed. That in and of itself is absolutely terrifying for me. But I digress (and will likely write a full post on this at another time). 

The point is, the specific work I believe God is calling me to will likely require quite a bit of travel and/or living in relatively dangerous areas. I do know of families who have made this lifestyle work and do so beautifully. However, I have to ask myself if marriage and a family would be a wise thing for me to pursue. 

Remaining single vs. being open to a relationship is a matter I am trying to commit to prayer. It is something I strive to daily give over to God - otherwise, my thoughts would be way too consumed with all of this. As you can see, even dwelling on it momentarily produces much word/thought vomit. 

For a long time (and sometimes even now), a lifetime of singleness was (is) utterly frightening. But over the past year and half, God has taught me much about what I as a single person can do that married people cannot. Remaining single leaves me flexible to "pick up and go" whenever I need/want to do so. However, there are many opportunities that only married people are able to pursue. 

I will end with this: Wherever God takes me - no matter the circumstance, single or married - I will go willingly. God knows the end even though I have barely begun. If am to be married, wonderful. If am to be single, wonderful. This may be my life, but it belongs to Him. 

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